I know that this is true: I care too strongly for things that I should have let go a very long time ago.
Weeks can go by and these crazy emotions will become dormant. But, one tiny thing can set me off and they will consume me all over again. It's a vicious, heart-stopping cycle that twists me around the invisible and blurry-coded lines.
What to do is always obvious, no matter the prick starting it. But how to do it is a whole different matter.
It's like I can feel that I have become two different people. I stretch and run, and push myself to fall back in line, back into myself. I throw myself through the days with little sleep and athletics. I don't stray from routine and do everything to make sure my husband doesn't get the short end of the stick. It's exhausting, physically and mentally.
This sounds insane, I know. I should probably give up on trying to explain my craziness.
Tomorrow, I will be me again. Celebrating birthdays and babies with a glass of wine, hugs and kisses (from the best hugger ever) and relishing in the weekend reprieve.
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