May 30, 2013

Remembering - a tribute to a dear friend.

My heart breaks for one of my most favorite families and oldest friends. The events that have unfolded this week have left me stunned and helpless.

I wrote this to them, though I know they may not be ready yet for peace and understanding -- because understanding the whys and hows of this is something only God knows.  All that is left are the trails of tears and confusion as everyone stumbles to pick themselves back up and find a way to cope.

Here's to you, Garcias, with so much love.

Things I love about Jerry and the Garcias.
Number 1…has to be Ann’s chicken tacos …and I was there for dinner every time they were on the stove, and especially when Grandma Garcia came over with rice.

I pretty much lived with the Garcias every Friday and Saturday night growing up, “baby-sitting” the boys with Tiffany, or just hanging out every day after school before volleyball or softball practice, so I became privy to the dynamics and hysterics.

Jerry always fell asleep with his mouth open and the snoring began instantly.  I know you can picture him….And even though Ann always tried to get him upstairs he would snore away until the middle of the night before going up to bed.
The way Jerry cheered during an OSU game, with a beer in hand, a big cheese on his face and lots of high-fives.

Jerry…the master corn-hole partner. You wanted on his team.
No one could help but laugh at all his corny jokes (it’s a Dad staple)… and with the Garcias, we are always laughing.

Ann would yell at us for encouraging him when we couldn’t stop laughing, and in the end she couldn’t help herself either.
I remember our trips to volleyball or softball practice in his super-fly, little red hoopty of a truck, and he always tried to have us shift the gears for kicks.

Jerry, I love the way you were always so genuinely happy to see Tiff’s friends when we get together, usually at your house -- since that’s how it’s been since Jr. high. 
And you are just genuinely happy, period. 

Recently, I messaged Tiff as Journey’s “Lights” was playing on our radio and I was reminiscing on my love for this family when Grandpa passed away a few weeks ago.  And whenever this song came on, Ann and Jerry would find their way together for their song.  Their love for their family and each other is evident in their embraces, their scolding, their support and their laughter together.
Jerry, I love how you loved your family more than anything -- it was so easy to see that in your face and feel that in your hugs.  I’ll never forget the look on your face every time Ann, Jeremy, Jordan, Tiff and Tajjj were all by your side, with your closest friends sitting on your patio and playing cornhole or quarters.  So many good times, so many memories, so many love and laughter-filled events.

Ann, Tiff, Jeremy and Jordy – I can only imagine how scary the world looks without your husband, your father, and Brayson’s grandpa. The anguish that has been brought to you to carry seems too much to bear, and the losses have been so great.  I hope you find some comfort knowing that you are his whole heart, pride and joy.  Grandpa Garcia has another best friend and angel with him, and you are their legacy of SO much that is happy, loving and good.
Jerry, I still can’t believe this is happening, but on your way to the happiest place that you can imagine, I wanted to make sure you heard one more time how much we all love you and know you will always be near.  Our thoughts will always be with you, your place no one can fill.

May 16, 2013


Slicing through our pacing shadows,
the thickness of unspent rain
clings to my breath --
refreshingly innocent
as a child gathers dandelions
for her mother.
Sweetly reflecting the forbidden
heavens of fascination --
indulging in the essence of purity.

Memory foam.

NEWS ALERT: Ryan let me get a new pillow...a memory foam with a cooling gel kind-of-pillow. A super fancy find at Costco.

I really fought to keep all my pillows in addition to my new pillow, but I was forced to give one up...and I'm learning how to pick my battles, if you remember this one.

His caveat was that on Monday morning I would have to jump out of bed and promise to say, "I feel fantastic! This is the best day ever! I feel great!" (He would.)  But, at 4:45am that is a VERY hard thing to say (try it sometime) and even after another fantastic sleep with my new pillow, I couldn't muster the ambition, or give him the satisfaction.

However, since I no longer have to flip the pillow over for the cooler side, I would say that I am still winning the bed/pillow battle.

May 10, 2013


Recently Ry and I have been asked to be godparents to two newborns, and let me just tell you what a humbling experience that is.

It chokes you up and you swallow around the lump and say, "Oh my goodness, absolutely, that is so sweet."

Instantly sprouting a split second of tears as you realize that these people really do love you so much in order to trust their children with you because of who you are as a person.

I know it's different now and mostly it's about sponsoring Christianity for the child's Baptism, but to us, it is confirmation that we have an interest in their life and who they grow to be. And the best part of it all -- it's only brought us closer together with our oldest friends, our best friends and family.

It makes you want to smother everyone with kisses as your heart pounds, so full of love and cheesiness. (We know I am pretty sappy.)

So, to Annie, Justin and precious little Natalie, to Ali, Andy and perfect little Mason - we promise to love you and teach you so many fun things that your parents won't (wink wink). We promise to be there to help find your paths on life's many journeys. We promise to take you to mass if you want to go and help teach you all the ways to pray and work for what you want. 

And to my sister...the humbling, overwhelming pride can only be stronger -- so don't ever think that the honor could ever be less than our first experiences.