I keep waiting for a day to come that I won't have a moment of panic that I am about to have a baby very soon.
I'm not sure if I ever have moments of clarity or calm, or sighs of relief knowing that I can do this. Though I sigh heavily, all the time, so that must be those moments, right?
Either that, or I just can't breathe with this little guy expertly expanding every centimeter of my body in places that make me waddle, grimace, cringe and limp.
Leaving work last week, I stepped into the elevator and joined another woman. I took a place off to the side and leaned against the wall.
The woman said to me, "Are you very uncomfortable? How long do you have?"
I laughed and replied, "I'm so sorry, did I sigh? I really have a problem with that. I'm doing pretty well, it's the countdown, thank you."
She said, "Well you can sigh all you want my dear and best wishes to you."
And when she walked away tears sprung to my eyes (of course) but I couldn't stop smiling and laughing about it. That is not the first time my sighing has been noticed, but it was nice to hear the fondness in her voice.
I'm not going to lie, I've had moments of breakdown bawling and hyperventilating...which at least end in laughter at some point because it really is hilarious to see "The Belly" jump up and down all at once like a jolly 'ol Santa Claus. I've cried about it all, just as much as we've laughed about it all.
I honestly didn't think that being pregnant would hurt this much, but I'm sure that I will forget all about that when I finally get to hold my little man. I know that it's only the beginning of what a Mother will do for her child.