July 26, 2013

Not quite invincible.

I really, truly, thought that I would be invincible as a pregnant chick. There was no way that I could get sick with the amount of vitamins we moms-to-be take.

That is a big fat joke.

In actuality, pregnant women have a suppressed immune system, so they become quite the easy target.

Not only have I been congested with a truck through my chest, I have a cough and more snot coming out of my nose than I have ever had in my life (could be a slight exaggeration but I'm not sure). After double checking with my doc, I could take Tylenol for my aches and pains and hot steamy showers. I was in trouble, and not very happy since I barely slept for three days.

So, I don't think I could be any happier than when I woke up at 4:45am today and I had been breathing through my nose and not my mouth! One, I actually slept AND no more disgusting mouth film and cracking lips. Woohoo! Total celebration.

The best part of this week's trial though, as I seem to have had many pregnancy trials thus far, is my conversation with Ryan yesterday as we stood in the kitchen:

Ry: So are you enjoying your pregnancy so far?
Me: Um, not really.
Ry: Do you want to do it again?
Me: Probably a few times.

All we can do is hug and laugh.

July 25, 2013

Banana or no banana?

So, what better way to reveal our baby's gender than at the Banana Party!

The results were placed in a sealed envelope by my doc and that envelope was given to the stuffer of the monkey pinata, and Ryan would be the only one swinging!

Our closest group of family and friends were with us... and we wouldn't have it any other way. This is how we live our lives. The turnout was amazing, reiterating why these people mean more to us than anything, and everyone was just as excited as we were. I even had a raffle going for everyone to guess the gender.

My mom came up to the party and we got my sister and brother-in-law on Skype. I blindfolded Ry with my monkey banana bandanna, and away we went! Three swings and blue candies went flying and we all started screaming! It was so exciting...and I didn't even cry! We cheered and hugged everyone, reveling in the love.

So, winners were pulled out of the correct pitcher and prizes were shared from water balloons, to mustaches and money.

It truly was an amazing party.

July 19, 2013

Holy baby.

Big news, I've been overtaken by a precious little life-sucker, so its been really hard to write without sharing!

We found out in May that we were pregnant while on our Florida vacation! After a few too many nights involving wine, vodka, beer and shots of Jameson, I just knew that we had to make sure I was in the clear.
We grabbed a pizza and a 3-pack of pee sticks. I poured a glass a wine and drank it slowly before hiding in the bathroom with the tell-all box.

Each pee stick revealed the same result. Positively pregnant.

I freaked...and Ryan laughed hysterically.

I was so confused by my reaction, but incredibly happy about his. After all, I had my 30th birthday party and a girls trip to Nashville when we got home from Florida, and things were going to go a bit differently than planned.

And then I saw our little baby's heart beating. The overwhelming sense of protection and love that washes over you, easily overtakes you. The shock lasts for quite awhile -- I still look in the mirror after four months and say, "I can't believe I have a little baby growing in there."

Literally until week 12, I was so sick to my stomach, lethargic beyond comprehension and an emotional basket case. I was scared about our future and the drastic changes coming into my life, our lives. I couldn't imagine giving up my competitive hobbies or our quiet time in the evenings.  Not to mention, the weight battle that I've struggled with my whole life that was finally getting somewhere... but all that was put on hold as incubation took over.

I am now the lifeline for a little miracle and my life is no longer my own.

I don't have control over the sleepy-ness -- it's almost like narcolepsy -- and it feels so very good to climb into bed. Which is already my favorite place to be, other than the football fields on a Saturday.

I went through some extreme guilt over dealing, or rather not being able to deal, with my wifely and household duties. I mean, I've cooked dinner maybe five times since May and if you know me, I plan dinners daily. I like to take care of my husband who works his butt off and always takes on extra work, he deserves to have a good meal at the end of the day. That's just one example.

But, I also just had a hard time coping with the loneliness of pregnancy. I say "loneliness" because while there are plenty of friends that have had babies, the roller coaster is all your own. Every time I didn't feel good, I felt like I couldn't tell anyone because no one can really sympathize or understand. I have too many obligations to my sports teams, or work, or my husband that the guilt weighed heavily. Ryan felt like every time he finally came home he had always missed his moment with me...and he did. And I felt the guilt every time he would walk in the door and I was on my way to bed.

Through these things and more, I was still in awe that I had this little tiny human, created with so much passion and love, growing inside me every day. It really is such a beautiful thing.

My doc said it best at the time, "it's really all about survival in the beginning." And how true that was and it really made me feel better.

And, how much that guilt has lifted into excitement.

Our BABY BOY is already bigger than average and I seem to be doing a good job at protecting him so far. It does wonders to hear that I'm doing a good job, and to talk to my sister every day who is so much closer to delivery day than I! Thankful, is an understatement.

Ry and I have turned into this next chapter with googly eyes and smiles, and it feels amazing.