Bringing it back.

Summer Tourney Champs & last game at 19 weeks pregnant

• 14 weeks after a cesarean birth 
• 5 Jillian Michaels workouts
• 3 volleyball games
•  6 (maybe) total hours of sleep each night

That is all the preparation I accomplished before getting back on the football field last Saturday. 

The morning began with a puking baby (it can really happen), a race around the house to find my cleats, my receiver gloves and clothes that fit...and then not getting to pump my boobs dry before heading to the field. 

At the time I didn't know Macklin really had a nasty flu bug, so I turned up the stereo bumps on the way to the game and got excited. It felt good (as long as I could ignore the little voice in the back of my head worrying about my mobility, skill-set revival and 15 lbs. of extra boobage.)

I stretched and played catch distractedly as I chatted with all my friends about my new life and what I've missed with theirs. Man, I really missed them. This felt right. I sure as shit could do it all and I was a freaking rockstar.

And then we took the field.

My legs were like lead. Every "fast" movement yanked at the bowling balls I was carrying and everyone kept saying, "let Janell stay in!" I seriously don't want to know what I looked like awkwardly running around out there. Actually, I don't think "running" is the right word but "heavily stomping" might be more accurate. I remember thinking that it was smart to only play one team until Mack is bigger.

But, then I had an interception and everyone goes crazy. Even though I didn't make it too far running down the field, it felt pretty damn sweet. I'm hopeful for the mojo to seep back into my blood, it's like riding a bike.

Last season pre-Mack and one of my favorite pics.

Last season pre-Mack.

Banana or no banana?

So, what better way to reveal our baby's gender than at the Banana Party!

From: BURRITOS and BUBBLY
http://www.burritosandbubbly.com/2013/07/babies-bananas/

The results were placed in a sealed envelope by my doc and that envelope was given to the stuffer of the monkey pinata, and Ryan would be the only one swinging!

Our closest group of family and friends were with us... and we wouldn't have it any other way. This is how we live our lives. The turnout was amazing, reiterating why these people mean more to us than anything, and everyone was just as excited as we were. I even had a raffle going for everyone to guess the gender.

My mom came up to the party and we got my sister and brother-in-law on Skype. I blindfolded Ry with my monkey banana bandanna, and away we went! Three swings and blue candies went flying and we all started screaming! It was so exciting...and I didn't even cry! We cheered and hugged everyone, reveling in the love.

So, winners were pulled out of the correct pitcher and prizes were shared from water balloons, to mustaches and money.

It truly was an amazing party.
 

Remembering - a tribute to a dear friend.

My heart breaks for one of my most favorite families and oldest friends. The events that have unfolded this week have left me stunned and helpless.

I wrote this to them, though I know they may not be ready yet for peace and understanding -- because understanding the whys and hows of this is something only God knows.  All that is left are the trails of tears and confusion as everyone stumbles to pick themselves back up and find a way to cope.

Here's to you, Garcias, with so much love.

Things I love about Jerry and the Garcias.

Number 1…has to be Ann’s chicken tacos …and I was there for dinner every time they were on the stove, and especially when Grandma Garcia came over with rice.

I pretty much lived with the Garcias every Friday and Saturday night growing up, “baby-sitting” the boys with Tiffany, or just hanging out every day after school before volleyball or softball practice, so I became privy to the dynamics and hysterics.

Jerry always fell asleep with his mouth open and the snoring began instantly.  I know you can picture him….And even though Ann always tried to get him upstairs he would snore away until the middle of the night before going up to bed.

The way Jerry cheered during an OSU game, with a beer in hand, a big cheese on his face and lots of high-fives.

Jerry…the master corn-hole partner. You wanted on his team.

No one could help but laugh at all his corny jokes (it’s a Dad staple)… and with the Garcias, we are always laughing.

Ann would yell at us for encouraging him when we couldn’t stop laughing, and in the end she couldn’t help herself either.

I remember our trips to volleyball or softball practice in his super-fly, little red hoopty of a truck, and he always tried to have us shift the gears for kicks.

Jerry, I love the way you were always so genuinely happy to see Tiff’s friends when we get together, usually at your house -- since that’s how it’s been since Jr. high. 

And you are just genuinely happy, period. 

Recently, I messaged Tiff as Journey’s “Lights” was playing on our radio and I was reminiscing on my love for this family when Grandpa passed away a few weeks ago.  And whenever this song came on, Ann and Jerry would find their way together for their song.  Their love for their family and each other is evident in their embraces, their scolding, their support and their laughter together.

Jerry, I love how you loved your family more than anything -- it was so easy to see that in your face and feel that in your hugs.  I’ll never forget the look on your face every time Ann, Jeremy, Jordan, Tiff and Tajjj were all by your side, with your closest friends sitting on your patio and playing cornhole or quarters.  So many good times, so many memories, so many love and laughter-filled events.

Ann, Tiff, Jeremy and Jordy – I can only imagine how scary the world looks without your husband, your father, and Brayson’s grandpa. The anguish that has been brought to you to carry seems too much to bear, and the losses have been so great.  I hope you find some comfort knowing that you are his whole heart, pride and joy.  Grandpa Garcia has another best friend and angel with him, and you are their legacy of SO much that is happy, loving and good.

Jerry, I still can’t believe this is happening, but on your way to the happiest place that you can imagine, I wanted to make sure you heard one more time how much we all love you and know you will always be near.  Our thoughts will always be with you, your place no one can fill.

Bloated.

There is something to be said for laughter -- it just feels so good.

We went to dinner last night with eight other people. We had a private room, family style menu and I had a bottle of wine to myself. We joked from one end of the table to the other, talking too loud and laughing even louder. 

I'm not sure that our server knew what to do with our borderline immature jabs and inappropriate stories ...though I think there must have been some sort of adult conversation.

Between bites of spaghetti with meatballs and chicken parmesan, we savored every bite of our belt-busting belly-aches. Full on happiness and contentment.

Perfect therapy.

Truly.

I used to feel obligated to keep up with 15 people, all truly my best friends. They are split into groups of friendships that have been built at different stages of my life. I've carried these friendships on for years, making myself sick if I missed anything that was important to anyone of these 15 people. I made it to almost every birthday or bachelorette party, bridal and/or baby showers, theme/keg parties, good ol' wine times, and just traveling anywhere to be in the company of my best friends.
 
I have the most insane, balls-to-the-wall memories with these people, which Facebook has documented very well. But over time, people have fallen off the face of the earth and through the cracks, and they just don't reach out anymore. I admit that I also quit reaching out when I became to overwhelmed with filling my schedule with my own events, and even developed a bit of the "if you don't care, why do I" mentality. But really, all these people just became too much to keep track of as we've grown, started our own families or careers, and have began reaching out to other circles that seem more relevant to my life at the time.

But isn't that what builds a friendship? Each relationship should hold a charming slice of quality in them, something that you need or love, and it links you together.
 
It seems so cheesy to use that term, "my best friends." But many of them have been my best friends at one time or another, and for one reason or another we were bonded by something extraordinary, or even tragic.
 
The tears and swearing that have come with fading friendships weighs heavily in the pit of my stomach. But I've realized that you can't truly value those that are truly closest to you while keeping up with so many distractions.  Everyone can't be everything in every moment that you need it. The best thing to do is to honor those memories, and know that true friendship always picks up where it left off, if and when, the paths meet again.