My baby brother is going to Afghanistan on a "tour of duty."
This makes everything in me quietly crack when I think about it and I have to be careful about where I am when I let it surface.
Like, when he called me last night to tell me that there is a farewell ceremony and he would love for us to be there because he is not sure if he will get to say "goodbye" after that. He speaks in run-ons, "I know you guys might not be able to take a vacation day but maybe you can see if you can get an unpaid day or something like that, maybe you could check it out, you know, if you can make it..."
I quickly glue myself back together put on my quivering smile and speak through tears with what I think is a strong voice.
"Of course we would be there, there is no way we wouldn't be."
I wonder how strong to be. Stronger than his wife for whom my heart breaks for? Stronger than my parents who can't stand to have us more than two hours away from them? Stronger than my brother who is the one going? If I don't crack in front of anyone would he think we don't care, that we are OK with this? How strong do I need to be and where do I find that strength?
No comments:
Post a Comment