I fantasize about vacation, and really only Mexico.
I've sort of become a snob about vacationing in Mexico, at least the paradise resorts that we've been to. I love talking about the places we've stayed and convincing people to plan a trip there. How many times can I say "Mexico" with the murmur of a dreamlike sigh?
I have nothing against expanding our vacationing reach or transitioning my daydreams. I do know that there are so many amazing places that I need to see. But the best emotions have come out of me during these trips and I'm just so very attached.
What's better than dos tequilas, or slammers and Tecate? Water aerobics and volleyball? Pristine and perfectly decorated rooms? A waiter who makes special trips to your room to fill up your fridge? A Mexican Michael Jackson? Getting my man to dance at the discoteca while the fog machine and bass get our blood pumpin' and bodies sweatin'?
You don't do those things in real life.
But, you sure as hell do in Mexico.
This is why I work. To dream about the vacations that I get to take with the people who make my heart melt and let my soul breathe.
Today, I ate five candy-cane Hershey Kisses -- I'm kind of obsessed with them and I'm on the last of my three bags that I bought before Christmas (don't you dare judge, I share them).
The problem is that I write down what I eat every single day (except Saturdays or Sundays because I'd rather not).
Five of these tiny candy-cane Kisses equals 161 calories. That is a whole lotta something for nothing.
It's bullshit. I'm just not going to count them today.
Not working hard enough, not pushing or believing enough, a flailing heart, a possible fail...the negatives that can restrain you are incredibly exhausting to carry. There is such a heaviness in allowing these pieces of yourself in the forefront.
Nothing that you have means anything without the pride in the paths you took to get there. The work that it takes to build, grow and strengthen all that you deserve and earn. So why make excuses when the reward is courage and strength? You can't become great if you don't put in the effort. Shortcuts won't push you to change.
I remember so many renditions of this practiced inspiration. Our high school varsity volleyball shirts even read, "You don't get what you pay for, you get what you work for." The volleyball had a bad-ass face flying at you, to show you just how we were going to stomp you to the ground because we worked harder than you did.
And you know what? We probably did most of the time.
Those words seem to have imprinted their forever stamp on my brain and in my soul.
When people ask me if I think it's time to slow down, to take a break, to take a season off from softball, volleyball, football...I tell them that someday I will have to, so right now it is necessary to cram in as much as I can.
Some days I do feel exhausted, and wouldn't mind a breather. But most days, nothing feels more exhilarating than using the long developed fundamentals of hard work, confidence, discipline and teamwork.
There is something to be said for laughter -- it just feels so good.
We went to dinner last night with eight other people. We had a private room, family style menu and I had a bottle of wine to myself. We joked from one end of the table to the other, talking too loud and laughing even louder.
I'm not sure that our server knew what to do with our borderline immature jabs and inappropriate stories ...though I think there must have been some sort of adult conversation.
Between bites of spaghetti with meatballs and chicken parmesan, we savored every bite of our belt-busting belly-aches. Full on happiness and contentment.
Perfect therapy.
