Peeing your pants.

When you are pregnant no one tells you to be careful of peeing a little bit every time you cough or sneeze. No, you have to figure it out yourself when you start putting back-up underwear and pads in your purse and then weekly throw a pair or two away because you aren't home to throw them in the washer. And now...I swear for Jesus that I pulled my groin muscles sneezing and squeezing my legs shut to stop it from happening, over and over again. I do kegels all day with this in mind and it doesn't always matter, but it also doesn't help that I have awful allergies to keep this cycling.

Last week I was in my car, that was still parked in the driveway and running late for work as usual. I sneezed 13 times in a row. Imagine what that did to me, or you might not want to.  I swore like a madwoman and went back in the house to change with watery eyes and wet pants.

Not only did my storming into the house and banging drawers awaken my husband, but he knew exactly what happened by which drawer I pulled from. He laughed at me with one eye open and half asleep and when he asked me to calm down and be quiet, I almost punched him.

Are you effing kidding me? He doesn't pee his pants sneezing AND he gets to stay in bed another two hours every day! Seriously, do not say a word.

But fine, it was funny later.

TMI? I don't care. The mommas know what I am talking about and the rest of you have no idea what we really go through. When I feel my baby boy kicking me and moving around, I know that I would pee my pants a million times over to keep this little man growing, and I can't wait to meet him.

Care package.

Candy, Gardettos, a frisbee, The Plain Dealer, mints, Chapstick, ravioli...it's the box that I packed up and shipped off to my brother in Afghanistan yesterday.

He wanted lunch-y things because they are away from base. But I'm sure that anything from home tastes good when you don't get too many hot meals and crave pizza every day (he is a pizza whore). It's fun to pick things out that might make him smile and help him get through the day, even if it is a cold can of ravioli.

So, I gather my items and box them up in the USPS military flat rate box (it's $2.00 cheaper) and sit down to write him a note.

I'm always torn at this part. Do I tell him how much we miss him and all the things to catch up on? Is he mentally blocked off from us so that he can get through his duties with a clear head and emotional detachment? What is the right thing to do? What does he need to hear or know from us? We are getting through this too so we also block the emotions to ward off tears and heart-heavy reminders.

But, I started to tell him how thankful I am for Facebook and the internet because it has really made this time pass with being able to communicate. Just to hear from him, to see a picture of his Army unit together, or see his activity checking in on everyone, makes me smile. So, I tell him how we are all taking care of one another and can't wait for him to be home to see all the new babies that will just be arriving to meet their uncle. Maybe my lil man will even wait to say hello after he returns, it will be close.

I end with prayers of so much love, sealed in an envelope with trails of tears, hugs and kisses.

He is halfway home.